that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Randomize
