I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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