the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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