need another drink. this is the easiest way
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
