Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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