ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
