We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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