come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
