he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
