..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
