Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
