Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
