yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
