I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
