omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my sisters under your porch take her home
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
