Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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