I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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