Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
