its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
