the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
