You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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