; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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