Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
