When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
