White coat. Heels.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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