i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
