some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
