is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
