I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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