hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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