it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
