idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
