YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
