I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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