just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
