I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
