Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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