Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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