Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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