I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
