I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
