weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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