Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
