She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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