i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
