We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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