Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
