And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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