I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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