she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
