Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
