Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
