I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
