you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
