woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
