walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
